The 2017 Grammys will not be lit

I’m over The Grammys. Really, I was never even into The Grammys. The nominations are never that great, the winners are usually pretty obvious and not always deserving. Above all, it highlights what I’m not really at into: popular music.

Let’s break down this year’s nominations:

The 2017 Album of the Year nominees include: Adele’s “25,” Beyonce’s “Lemonade,” Justin Bieber’s “Purpose,” Drake’s “Views” and Sturgill Simpson’s “A Sailor’s Guide To Earth.”

Adele’s album was totally overrated compared to her other ones, so this nomination makes no sense. Drake can’t actually sing and dances like my dad, and Justin Bieber can sort of sing, but “Purpose” is just bland pop. I actually kind of liked Beyonce’s “Lemonade” visual album because it was an original take on an unoriginal idea and it’ll probably win. I just feel bad for poor Sturgill. You never had a chance, buddy.

Who Should Win: Beyonce’s “Lemonade.”
Who Will Win: Adele’s “25.”

The Record of the Year nominations include: Adele’s “Hello,” Beyoncé’s “Formation,” Lukas Graham’s “7 Years,” Rihanna’s “Work” featuring Drake and Twenty One Pilots’ “Stressed Out.”

“Hello” is literally only good for memes. I’ve already given Beyoncé a Grammy and my mom taught me the importance of sharing, so pass. If Rihanna’s “Work” wins, I’ve lost all hope in humanity and music is dead. I guess I’m going with Twenty One Pilots’ “Stressed Out,” not even because it’s their best song — just because it’s the best of the bunch.

Who Should Win: Twenty One Pilots, “Stressed Out.”
Who Will Win: Rihanna’s “Work.”

Song Of The Year includes once again, “Formation” written by Khalif Brown, Asheton Hogan, Beyonce Knowles & Michael L. Williams II, “Hello” written by Adele Adkins & Greg Kurstin, “I Took A Pill In Ibiza” written by Mike Posner, “Love Yourself” written by Justin Bieber, Benjamin Levin and Ed Sheeran and “7 Years” written by Lukas Forchhammer, Stefan Forrest, Morten Pilegaard and Morten Ristorp.

“Formation” probably shouldn’t win because it wasn’t actually written by Beyonce. As I’ve said, “Hello” equals memes. “I Took A Pill In Ibiza” is as painfully written as Rihanna’s work. Honestly, give it to “Love Yourself” or “7 Years,” I literally could not care less.

Who Should Win: “7 Years”
Who Will Win: “I Took a Pill in Ibiza”

The Best New Artist nominations include: Kelsea Ballerini, The Chainsmokers, Chance The Rapper, Maren Morris, and Anderson .Paak.

Kelsea Ballerini’s song “Peter Pan” is not only an incorrect bastardization of the original novel, but it also sucks. I hope she wins so I never have to hear her again. The Chainsmokers — our hometown favorite — are not really that great either. Chance The Rapper is not a best “new” artist — but he doesn’t suck so I give him my blessing. Maren Morris sounds like over-autotuned nails on a chalkboard which pretty much says it all. Anderson .Paak I’ve actually seen live and he’s a pretty cool dude.

Who Should Win: Chance The Rapper, Anderson .Paak
Who Will Win: The Chainsmokers


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